Beavis and Butthead Do Konoha
by Spiral Infinity
Summary: Third chapter up! Enjoy it and wait for the next!
1. Chapter 1

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

Hey, how's it going? I have been watching a lot of Beavis and Butthead since the summer began and keeping up to date with Naruto episodes and mangas. Also, I saw some Naruto clips with Beavis and Butthead dubs. Since no one would make a fanfiction with Beavis and Butthead in it, I thought of doing one. It willl show how Beavis and Butthead would bring hell in Konoha as they try to pick up chicks and hang out with Naruto and the gang. Please don't hesitate to give me feedbacks and demands on anything. Enjoy!

Chapter 1

Naruto was still waiting impatiently for Jiraiya to instruct him for the planned 3-year period of intensive training. Yet, as usual, the Fifth Hokage assigned him missions as he waited. As every day passed, his impatience grew and grew tired of receiving and completing missions. But today was an exception.

The time was 11:00 AM in the Hokage's office. Naruto entered the Hokage's office.

"Was sup, Old Lady!" shouted Naruto the usual informal greetings.

"Oh, good you're here," calmly replied the Hokage, "Shizune went to call in two of the four people you are about to meet."

"Four people, huh! Who are they! Some tough guys to go on a mission with? Or is it some important VIPs to escort! Come on, tell me!"

"SHUT UP!"

Her shout with the super-sized head enlargement, as if was a genjutsu, made him freeze and yet so scared he could have pissed his pants.

(KNOCK! KNOCK!)

"Come in," the Fifth answered happily; how ironic after that huge yell and enormous rage.

Shizune entered, "here they are, Tsunade-sama."

One of the two men who entered was a bald middle-aged man wearing a suit, shaking and going _uhh_ every 3 seconds (as if he was having a nervous breakdown). The second man was a typical calm hippie with long hair, casual clothes, and socks with sandals.

"Who the hell are these weirdoes?" Naruto wondered as he was staring at those two with his usual fox stare .

"Uhhhhhhh...is this the kid who is going to watch over those two bastards? Uhhhhhhhh..." the bald headed man with the Bostonian accent asked the Hokage.

The second person began to speak, "Pleased to meet you, Naruto. I heard a lot about you from big sister Tsunade. My name is Vandreeson, a teacher, and this is Principal McVicker. We are both from a village not so far from here asking for special help and guidance for two special yet less fortunate teenagers, m'kay."

"Say what!" Naruto had no clue what he was referring to.

"I'll explain" everyone looked to Tsunade, "Vandreeson and I met each other years ago in a rock festival back in my days. That's how he knows me personally. Come to think of it, I think we both got high or something..."

"I don't care about that, granny!"

"SHUT UP!"

He froze again in fear.

"Anyways, there are 2 students they brought with them who are troublesome (like you if I may say so) and you are to watch over them."

"Why me!"

"BECAUSE I SAID SO!"

Froze again.

She immediately calmed down, "you know what? This is getting old."

"Look who's talking." Naruto laughed immediately.

"uhhhhhhh, yeah," McVicker agreed and immediately laughed like a stupid weirdo.

"Aiii!" Shizune shrieked.

"Oh, God...m'kay," Vandreeson saw trouble coming.

MORTAL KOMBAT ! – FINISH HIM!

Tsunade punched both Naruto and McVicker through the roof, up into the sky as both screamed.

"AAHHHHHH! Dattaebayyooooooooooooooooooooo!"

"AAHHHHHH! Uhhhhhhhhhh...AAHHHHHHHHH!"

Both fell back down to the Hokage's office.

As Tsunade tried to catch her breath, Naruto and McVicker got up as Shizune held on to Vandreeson due to her fear. Tsunade grabbed Naruto, held him up the air, pushed her face into his, giving him a death stare.

"NARUTO, I SWEAR TO GOD, I WANT TO KILL YOU SO BADLY! But I will wait 'til this mission is over. As for you, McViker, you are an idiot like Naruto! If you want our service, you better watch it."

"Uhhhhhhhhhh...now you're starting to know how I feel about those two bastards we are going to talk about...uhhhhhhhh."

"In that case, let's get back to business. Shizune, bring them in."

"Yes, ma'am."

She headed to the door, leaned out, and called out, "Okay guys, you can come in now."

Naruto looked at the doorway as Shizune came next to him waiting for the two guests.

The duo were teenagers, both wearing T-shirts, shorts, black shoes with white socks...in other words, like dorks.

"Uhuhuh...uhuhuh" The brown-haired one laughed.

"Hehe...yeah...hehe" The blonde haired one laughed.

Naruto gave a weird look to those two.

"Naruto," Tsunade began to introduce them, "meet Beavis and Butthead."

(Playing: BEAVIS AND BUTTHEAD TV INTRO).

To be continued...


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2 - A Walk in the Village

"Whoa, this chick is way better than the brunette. Uhuhuh. She's got big boobs," said Butthead when he first saw Tsunade in her office as he entered along with Beavis."

"Yeah! Yeah! Hehehe! BOOIINNGGGG!" Beavis agreed, along with making an erection sound effect.

As Tsunade wanted to hit both of them, McVicker slapped both of them on the back of the head.

"Uhhhhhh. You watch you're mouths, you morons. That's no way to talk to a lady. Uhhhhhh."

"Who the hell are these guys?" Naruto asked in an impolite and loud way.

"I told you! This is Beavis and Butthead," Tsunade replied, "you are to watch over them and keep them under your guard for a few days."

"But why?"

Vandresson decided to answer the question, "I can explain, Naruto. These two have been causing all kinds of chaos in the town we live in. They never thought about making themselves better in behaviour or the way thay think (positively, that is). Since the whole town got together about doing something about these two, we though of every solution we could think of. Finally, I was able to contact one of my pen pals, Tsunade, to see if she could do anything about them (she is scary you know). But now that she is the Hokage, she thought that-

Beavis and butthead both laughed as they heard their teacher said "that word."

"Guys, you're interrupting me."

"Hey, Beavis. He said 'ho.' Uhuhuhu."

"Yeah! Yeah! Hehehehe! No wonder she's got big boobs! Heh. She's a ho! Hehe!"

Their laughter continued until Tsunade released her editing finger to launch Beavis in the air. Beavis flew out of the office, screaming at the same time, until he hit the wall.

"Whoa, that was cool. uhuhuh."

As Tsunade tried to catch her breath, Vandreeson tried to continue with his speech.

"Anyways, I was saying...Big sister Tsunade recommended that you, Naruto, would be the one to change them. She says that you have the power to change people into becoming innocent and thinking more wisely, which is a rare gift, m'kay."

Naruto replied, "yeah, but I can't deal with these two. They're morons!"

Tsunade gave him a stupified look, "As if you're not a moron?"

"Uhhhhhh, yeah," McVicker agreed to that and laughed. Everyone in the room except Butthead (and Beavis, who was actually outside of the room) sweat dropped at McVicker's laugh, when he never realizes that he is a hypocritical moron, too.

"Okay, dattebayo! I will watch over them! But remember this, the boy you are talking to will some day become hokage and-"

Butthead laughed again so hardly, and so did Beavis, who was lying upside down up against the wall but can still hear the conversation in the room in front of him.

"Uhuhuh, this kid wants to be a 'ho,' too. Uhuhuh."

"You bastards, I am gonna kick your-" As Naruto was about to finish, Tsunade interrupted.

"That's enough, Naruto. Besides, you're mission is to watch over them, not hitting them. You are not granting the request of Big Bro Vandreeson here."

Naruto thought, "umm...he is shorter and younger than you."

(Later in the afternoon, in the village market)

"So guys, what do you want to?" Naruto asked the duo that he now has to watch over.

"ummm," Butthead was thinking,"we're hungry dude. Uhuhuh."

"Yeah, hehe. We want something to eat.Hehe. We want nachos."

"What's nachos?"

"Uhuhu, what a dumbass! He doesn't know what nachos are. Uhuhuh."

"Yeah, yeah. Hehe. Loser"

"So what are nachos then?"

"Uuuhhhhhhhhhhh...well, they're...uhhhhhhhh...uhuhuh..."

"Hehe, how about burgers? Any burger place? hehe."

"Oh, I have an idea! Let's eat ramen. My treat."

Beavis and Butthead bot gave a shocking look with their eyes enlarged and their mouths opened.

"uhuhuh...'raw men?' We are not going to eat 'raw men,' dude. Uhuhuh. That's gross."

"Yeah, yeah...hehe...I don't want to eat a guy with his schlong sticking out...hehe," Beavis agreed.

"So you both don't like soup and noodles?"

"Oh, you mean like Chinese? uhuhuh. Sure, dude."

"Yeah, yeah, let's eat Asian! Hehehe."

"Geez, these guys are killing me," Naruto thought.

All three eventually arrived at Ichiraku Ramen (not "raw men") and sat down.

"Hey Naruto!" The old man welcome Naruto and his friends (so as he thought). "The usual?"

"Yuppers! The same for these two."

"Sure you don't want to help choose what they want?"

Naruto sweat dropped and gave a scared smile, "believe me, you don't want to..."

"Okay then."

Naruto turned to the two and started a converstation.

"You see, guys, this is where I eat ramen everyday."

Once again, Beavis and Butthead were superbly shocked, thinking he said "raw men."

"(sigh) I mean soup and noodles."

"Oh, yeah. Uhuhuh"

"Man this sucks! Hehe! I want some general Tao and fried rice."

"Uhuhuh. Settle down, Beavis."

"But this is weird. Hehe. Why are we at a bar?"

"Actually, Beavis," Naruto interrupted, "soup and noodles is the only thing this place serves. It's not a bar at all. There is no alcohol here at all."

"Really? hehe. That sucks. Still, I want some general Tao."

"(sigh) Just try the food you're getting and be happy (besides you are not paying for it)."

The food was ready and the chef, along with his daughter served them.

"Well, here you go, boys. The same kind of ramen Naruto likes." He handed to both Beavis and Naruto.

"Here' your chopsticks, sir," said the daughter of the owner as she gave Butthead his ramen.

"Ohhhh, yeahhhhh. Come to Butthead. uhuhuh," it's as if he was getting some; but what made him more enthusiastic about her was when she broke his chopsticks into two for eating as her way of welcoming new customers, "I love you...Uhuhuhuh..uhuhuhuh." Butthead's flirting was always lame.

He didn't bother to touch his food but instead to stare all day at the owner's daughter. Beavis also stared at her and waited for her to break his chopsticks into two.

"Here you go, Beavis, enjoy, said Naruto as he did what Beavis wanted the daughter to do the same service she gave to Butthead.

"Damn it, Naruto. Hehe. I wanted her to do it. You suck! Hehehe."

"Umm, yeah, just eat your food."

"Huh? Oh...oh, yeah...hehe," Beavis tried some of the noodles and was amazed of how good it was, "whoa...this is pretty good. Hehe. I never really like spaghetti."

"It's not spaghetti, it's ra- I mean, soup and noodles."

"Really? hehe. Cool. Can I have, like, seconds."

"Sure...or you could just take Butthead's since he is not eating nor will be bother to eat his."

After their ramen meals, Naruto took Beavis and Butthead out for a stroll in the marketplace.

"Damn it! Hehe. Where's the mall? Hehe. Where's the cinema? hehe."

"Beavis, this is a village. Not a city or town. Relax and try to explore this area in every way, dattebayo."

"Shut up, this sucks. hehe. Dattebayo. I like that. hehe. DATTEBAYO! DATTEBAYO! hehe."

"Whatever."

"Uummm, Naruto, uhuhuh, who the hell are those people with the huge stone faces? Uhuhuh.." Butthead was curious about the Hokage monuments on the cliff.

"Oh, those are the the first 4 hokages, Butthead."

Again, Beavis and Butthead laughed like crazy when they heard "hokage" again.

"uhuhuh, so they were all ho's? Uhuhuh"

"Yeah, yeah. Hehehe."

"Guys, a hokage-"

Laughter again.

"LISTEN, DATTEBAYO! A hokage is head ninja. A hokage is someone who controls all the ninjas in the village and is acknowledged by everyone to as strongest ninja, not to mention the most popular."

"So..uhuhuh...all of them were like famous?"

"Duh!"

"So..hehe...they scored with all the chicks!"

"You know what this means, Beavis. uhuhuh. Naruto says he going to be a ho-something, so he is going to score with all the chicks."

"Yeah! Yeah! So if we, like, follow him, we'll score, too! Hehe."

Both Beavis and Butthead celebrated their feeling of joy by imitating guitar playing (this time, it was "Iron Man").

BEAVIS AND BUTTHEAD TOGETHER: "Daa, daa, dadada, dadadadadadada, da, da, da."

"Guys, what the the hell are you thinking?"

"Umm, nothing, uhuhuh."

Naruto sweat dropped, "Well, let's stroll for a little longer. Okay, guys?"

After walking here and there in the village marketplace, Beavis and Butthead this time had as much stamina as Naruto all due to their anxiety for a woman. Suddenly, Naruto met up with Sakura and Ino.

"Yo, Sakura-chan! Ino!"

"Hey, Naruto, wassup?" Sakura asked.

"So are you busy?" Ino asked.

"(sigh) Yeah, I have to watch over these 2 strange guys 'til God knows when."

"What 2 guys?" Both girls asked."

"These two gu-" They were not near him. "Huh?"

He saw those two in front of the dumplings-and-tea shop. They saw a women who caught their attention and looked so attracting to them. She enjoyed eating 60 orders of dumplings, eating each one slowly. Beavis and Butthead were amazed by how much this woman could eat.

"Oh, no," Naruto was afraid, and so were Sakura and Ino, "that's...that's.."

Mitarashi Anko. The woman that Naruto and others would consider dangerous despite her attractions.

"Whoa, check it out, Butthead. Hehe. She's like eating balls on a stick. hehe."

"Yeah, uhuhuh. She can have my balls on a stick. Uhuhuh."

Both were giving the same kind of laugh they give due to their amazement from a hot looking woman. Hearing their laughs, Anko turned her face to them.

"What are you dorks looking at?" Anko asked.

Butthead, once again, flirted, but more boldly, "Uhuhuh, hey, baby. Uhuhuh. Wanna score? Uhuhuh."

"What was that?" She asked with a dangerous look. Immediately, while carrying a tea cup in her left hand, she raised up her lower right arm and a snake came out, hissing and opening it's mouth as if it's ready to bite.

"AHH! Butthead, look out! A snake!" Beavis was freaked.

"That was cool, she brought a snake out of her hand. Uhuhuh. Maybe she can bring a snake out of her butt. Uhuhuh."

That was the last thing to make Anko angry. Her snake wrapped around Butthead's neck, strangling him a bit, wirling him around in circles like a lasso, and throwing him into the fried crackers shop across the road. As for Beavis, he looked at Anko's dumplings and started to eat them while she was busy "punishing" Butthead for sexual harrassment.

"Hey, Anko-sensei, knock it off, dattebayo!" Then came Naruto to the rescue (dufus!). "These two are under my watch and not to be hurt. Just take it easy and ignore them."

"Ho, ho, ho. If it isn't the little Naruto kid. How you doin'?"

"Fine until I ran into you." He thought. If he said that for real, he would be asking for it.

Suddenly both heard noises and turned to Beavis, who was acting really weird, shaking his head from side to side so quickly, making funy sounds from his mouth...as if he was being posssessed by the devil himself.

"Beavis are you okay?"

"Hey! That little turd ate all my dumplings! He better pay up for those."

Beavis pulled up the top his shirt, placed it over his head (making it look like a head veil) and said in a Hispanic accent:

"I AM CORNHOLIO!"

To be continued... 


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Beavis was in his hyperactive alter-ego state known as none other and Anko were both surprised and confused.

"Beavis, what are you-?" Naruto was cut off.

"I AM CORNHOLIO!! I need T.P. for my bunghole," said Beavis in Hispanic accent (only sounds American when he is saying calm and stupid quotes).

Anko replied, "Kid I don't get what you said or even care what you're going through, but give me my money for all my dango (sweet dumplings) you just ate."

"Dango!? Heh…my bunghole goes dango! Dango! Dango! Dango! Dango! Rapapapa!!! And one for you!! PRRRRRRR!!"

"Is this kid from the nuthouse, Naruto?" Anko wanted answers from the one who was guiding him and his friend.

"I don't know, dattebayo!" Naruto was going through a lot already, needing no more pressure from anyone other than the two morons (funny saying it since he is one).

"Dattebayo?!? Heheh…Dattebayo! Dattebayo! Dadadadadadatetetetetetetete abababayoooo! Bayo! Bayo! Bayo! Hayo! Hayo! Bungholio! The almighty Bungholio!!"

"Alright, mister cornhole or whatever….knock it off!"

"Are you threatening me?!?"

"So what if I am? Gonna to do something about it? Huh?" Anko reply came with a snake coming out of her pocket.

"DO not underestimate the power of the almighty bunghole! Or else everyone in this village will pay!! The streets will flow with the blood of the nonbelievers!! Hehe…that would be pretty cool. Hehe. SO BOW DOWN TO THE ALMIGHTY BUNHOLE!!"

Beavis was definitely making a scene. Anko saw this as a serious threatening moment and called ANBU through her walkie talkie hidden in her jacket. After the call, she realized something unusual.

"You know, this is weird. When his friend tried to pick me up and I threatened him with one of my snakes, this idiot really freaked. But this time, he really isn't afraid. He was talking as if he wanted it. Tell me, what do you know about this guy?"

"I told you! I just met him, today! I don't know anything about these two retards other than going _uhuh hehe_ every few seconds."

"Hmmm….maybe when he was afraid of my snake, he must have been so nervous he wanted to eat all my dangos to calm him down. As a technicality, it must have made him hyper. But I learned from Doctor Phil's TV show that sugar doesn't cause any hyperactivity, so…"

"WHO THE HELL CARES? Let's just kick his ass so he can snap out of it! Okay, first of all……_hmmm, I guess I should watch Dr. Phil, too (I bet he isn't a drunkie doc like the old hag)_………I am gonna use Kage Bushins to surround him and wait for his move. Alright! Here we g-…..huh?"

Beavis was already strangled up in ropes and surrounded by four ANBU officers. Yet, he was still in his Cornholio mode: shaking and still saying gibberish.

"Awww, no fair! I was going to do it myself!"

"Look, Naruto, this is for professionals. But, since you are his babysitter, you're welcome to join us in interrogating him."

"Will you bring T.P.? T.P. for my bunghole?" Beavis' alter ego demanded attention.

"Yeah, yeah. I will bring T-whatver for your what-you-call-it. Just relax and cooperate with us. Alright, ANBU, shortie, crazy dork….let's hit the road."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa….what about Butt-head?" naruto realized he was to watch over both.

"If you mean his friend, just leave him. He'll be fine."

"I doubt it, but I guess I could use a small break, even if it's been 2-3 hours since I met them...why are we talking so fast like Speed Racer. Oh, yeah, I watched show last night. How stupid of me to let the effect come on to me. THERE I GO AGAIN!"

The shinobi's jumped into the air heading for ANBU center as they dragged Beavis with the rope. Funny seeing Beavis flying in the air when he still sees himself as Cornholio.

"PEOPLE OF THE VILLAGE! I AM CORNHOLIO! I GIVE YOU A MESSAGE! Whoa, that rhymes. Hehe. TODAY, YOU HAVE WON! BUT TOMORROW, I WILL GET MY T.P. FOR BUNGHOLE. Whoa, check it out. I am flying. Hehe."

As they disappeared, Butt-head was the only one left, still in his crash spot. But, suddenly, he was encountered by a giant fat man and two accomplices of his. Butt-head regained consciousness and saw the three mysterious men in front of him.

"Hey, kid, wanna make some dough?" The giant man asked.

"Uhhh, what? Uhuhuh. Making dough, sucks. Are you the doughboy? Uhuhuh."

"No, you damn little bastard! Do you wanna make money!?"

"Oh, uhuhuh. Sure, dude."

"Good, then you and I have a big job to do. Ha ha ha ha ha." His men laughed along with him. And so did Butt-head, being absolutely clueless (as always) of what he was really going to talk about.


End file.
